Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Bishop Has Been Released

President Martin released me.


Let me kindly ask you a favor. If you liked reading this blog, leave a comment on this post.

It's brought me a lot of joy knowing that something I said might have made you smile.

Thank you. And goodbye.


P.S. I might be back. You just never know.

176 comments:

Heather said...

I kinda want to cry. I LOVE this blog. Please don't go!

Bishop Higgins said...

Thanks, Heather.

Eric D. Snider said...

I'm glad this blog is going away. It frequently causes me to engage in loud laughter, which is sinful.

Sherma said...

I'd like to bury my thankfulmony and let you know how much I've enjoyed your wonderful view of the church, its people, and life in general. I've always enjoyed your blog. Good luck with the cobbling.

The eEditor said...

I've had a lot of good Bishops in real life, but you were my first online ecclesiastical leader. I appreciated your humor & efforts. You will be missed immensely by this reader.

Bishop Higgins said...

Thanks, The eEditor. Your first online ecclesiastical leader I like that.

Anonymous said...

Please don't stop.

Become the YM president or something.

There's got to be funny stories about the snow camp outs right?

Please oh Please oh Please (thats how my 3 year old would son say it)

~Long time reader first time commenter~

Colletti Family said...

You had me going there for a while man... My brother and I debated whether you were a real bishop or not. For the record, you're hilarious!

Bishop Higgins said...

Colletti family, that's kind of you to say. Thanks.

MandiScandal said...

I'm soooooo not happy about this! I absolutely adore Bishop Higgins! Least most popular sins always make me laugh. I am a member but love to share it with my nonmember friends who adore you as well.

Best of luck. And is the Justin Hackworth that is the photographer in Provo? If so I guess its true that the mormon world is a small world.

I really wish you would change your calling. Primary president? Sunbeam teacher? I'll miss these!

LaDawn said...

I really enjoyed your blog!
I snorted Mt Dew out of my nose on several occasions.

I think you should be called as the Sunbeam teacher. You've had the cushy job long enough, time to get in the trenches.

Hey, I know someone who used to repair shoes, do you know him?

Bishop Higgins said...

MandiScandal, you guessed it.

Bags said...

Always full of lots of WIN. Thanks for the laughs, oh mighty cobbler.

Janika said...

I truly loved reading this blog. I was one of the many people who couldn't quite figure out if it was all real or made up for a while. I got many of my clients reading your blog as well. (thanks to my client Kathy for sharing you with me) It has been a blast. Your posts will be missed.

Bishop Higgins said...

Glad to hear you've enjoyed it, Janika.

Ryan said...

I just found the blog and added the feed 3 weeks ago. Like always, I was late to the party.

Thanks anyway.

Dave said...

Loved the site so much.
Sad to see you go; released.
Tribute in Haiku.

Likeursoperfect said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sally said...

I'm sad. I have you on my igoogle gadget thing, checking every day for new posts.

I wish I was blessed with the talent you have. Instead i was given the gifts of self righteous spirituality, speaking in tongues, and crying while bearing my testimony EACH and EVERY month. Somehow, I think you get invited to more parties than I.

Cambo said...

Bishop, I will miss you. Thanks for helping me repent that time when I called Lex De Azevedo a poopy musician over the pulpit. You helped me to learn that language like that has no place in the house of the Lord. I am sincerely going to miss hearing your thoughts and spiritual messages, Bishop. I hope you move on to bigger and better things, like building toy trains in your basement.

stay said...

Fantastic work! I've been a deeply entertained subscriber for a long time. I got my sister hooked on your blog, too. My favorite thing has been how the mask never really slipped until now!

Best of luck in your future endeavors, especially the shoe repair thing!

SG-3 said...

From the ends of the Earth (Well, Tasmania IS pretty close to the end) a big thank you for your reverent irreverence! Well done, thou good and crazy servant!

Anita Cramer Wells said...

I just moved into your ward a couple weeks ago and am sad that you've been released! The tithing posts were my favorite. Hope you don't go inactive on us :-)

Rick said...

I'm crushed. Just when I was called as ward executive secretary and thought I might be able to look to your posts for guidance, you get released.

And for the record, I HAVE mentioned Bishop Higgins in casual conversation.

Chelsea said...

My testimony is shaken.

The B said...

This stuff is priceless. Ward gay? Medium laughter? Most popular sins? Doesn't get much better than that. Thanks for the laughs!

austin said...

I very much enjoyed this blog. Satire is woefully lacking in the Mormon world, and it was fun to read your skewering of the funnier aspects of our Mormon culture.

I especially liked the This Week's Most/Least Popular Sin posts. I also very much appreciated the Ward Gay; although I'm straight, I know a lot of gay Mormons and your satire of how gays are perceived and kind of condescended to in the church was spot on.

Overall very funny and original, I loved getting tweets during the day on my phone and just laughing at the headlines.

Stefanie said...

Bishop, I am devastated by the news of your release. I have considered going inactive over this! But then realized that although you will be terribly missed, the Lord has bigger and better things in store for you like being the door greeter or the guy who makes sure there are folding chairs set up behind the folding curtain in the chapel that seperates the comfy pews from the nose bleed section. Thank you for putting things in a simple and straight forward manner. And coming up with ideas and programs to help encourage activity. When I was the YW president I tried working with our YM president to institute your BRILLANT idea of "My Milkshakes Bring the Boys to The Lord". Unfortunetly our bishop was NOT to receptive and I was released. I still think it's a GREAT idea!

Take care bishop. Know that you will be greatly missed! Please let us bloggers/stalkers know if you decide to accept and magnify your next calling.

Also remember....Once a bishop, always a bishop!

Oh yeah, I have a prosthetic leg and the shoe they built on it just doesn't fit right. Can you help?

Until we meet again...

Mark LDS Music said...

I just found this about a month ago and I've been enjoying it ever since. Thanks! Sorry you're moving on, but I understand.

Lucy said...

I gotta say....I caught your humor right off the bat when I first saw your blog. I'm a very active Mormon and I learned long ago how to laugh at 'myself'. So I will really miss your witty happenings and the 'people of your ward'. I think that was my favorite thing. One more thing......


PLEASE DON'T GOOOOOO!!!

Lefty said...

Hello, Bishop Higgins. Long time listener, first time caller.
Thanks for the blog! I quite enjoyed your outing of all the members of your congregation for their foibles. That kind of thing makes me giggle. Choose the right, and keep on truckin'!

Burnsuego said...

You never had a casual conversation with me, or you would have heard this blog come up. I checked back several time a day sometimes, hoping for something new. It's a blog that is almost taboo to talk about with your good mormon friend from the ward, for fear that it would not be perceived as funny.

Two favorite posts: tithing elitist (which I did mention in a ward council once. Didn't go over well), and teaching the youth about sin by using a prostitute with a clergy discount. Hilarious stuff. Good luck and whatever comes next, be sure to post it on this blog so we can find you in the future.

JonAli said...

I will miss this blog for sure. My favorite post was your Conference Talk "8 is a baseline" left me in stitches. Thanks for the many, many laughs!

Kelly said...

Hi
I just discovered your blog about a week or two ago. So I can't say which was my favorite yet, having read so little to go by. I am sad you are stopping because I really enjoyed what I read so far. Good luck with your future creative outlets!

Kelly

Chana said...

Awe Bish...don't go.

I loved the things your poked fun at in the Church - it was funny.

My favorite was when you'd pull FB friends or blog followers into your posts. One happened to be a friend of mine and we died laughing about how she'd brought the at home colonoscopy kit to the ward auction.

Melia said...

I am not sure that I could pick a favorite post, but I have loved your updates about the most fun ward in the church.

Thanks for the laughs and good luck in your new endeavors.

Christopher Bigelow said...

Loved the blog, kudos and farewell.

Top thing in my memory was the video you did where the exec sec would call people "for and on behalf of Bishop Higgins." But lots of other sublime moments too--I'll have to cull back through and relive them sometime.

CurtisAdie said...

This blog has been HILARIOUS! I would literally laugh out loud and my husband would come in to see what was so funny - so I had to share with him! You are very, very clever! I will miss it!

Carol said...

I only found it in october, but my hubby and I have enjoyed it deeply! Much laughter from it, Thanks for your service. Our favorite was... My Milkshake brings all the boys to the Lord! So funny!

Rachelle said...

You're leaving? Seriously? My husband and I stumbled across this blog quite awhile ago and LOVE it! You are so funny and so right on. Favorite post? That's tough. Perhaps the one about Costco counting as family night if you sing a song on the way over? We still talk about that one every so often when we go to Costco. :) Thanks for all the laughs!

Tim said...

Honest truth, no satire: I found this blog yesterday after work, enjoyed it, decided to go back the the beginning, started in 2006, began reading. Had to stop reading to go to bishopric meeting (I'm a counselor), came back, read some more, went to bed. Got up this morning, continued reading, just now got to the latest entry (that wasn't there yesterday when I started) and found the Bishop has been released! What a let down! But I'm so grateful for the fun!

Our version of tithing elite was a temporary change to 8% or 5%. Always as a joke. We've considered ironic callings too, like the old widows who complain about kid noise in sacrament meeting being called to teach primary. Not so much a joke.

Anyway, muchas gracias for the entertainment! Blessings on you.

stephsterr said...

I love to read my favorite posts out loud to whoever will listen. You are hilarious. Faith, Hope, Charity and Brenda... when Nathan hijacks the blog... Sister Jorgenson's testimony pie chart, and the bidding for who will NOT be Scout Master. Awesome! Thanks for the great laughs.

Thayne Forbes said...

Bishop, I'm gonna miss you. I think I may have been one of your earliest followers, and I know I've told several dozen people that I was sure that you were actually my friend Scotty. Now I'm disappointed twice.
My favorite posts were about the ward members. Especially Brother Alan Siepert - Ward liar and Brother Charlie Tibble - Ward gay

Much love and best wishes.

rainylakechick said...

I'm not LDS, but have LDS friends. Thanks for the laughs. Good luck in your future callings!

Rachel said...

But I only just found you!! And I need humor. We all do. :)

Anyhow, thank you. I've loved the way you poke fun without being cruel. If you start another blog, please let us know.

Lindsey said...

I'm so heartbroken that this blog is coming to an end. This blog sometimes brought me to tears, because I was laughing so hard. Probably my favorite post was the "My Milkshake Brings all the Boys to the Lord." I might have peed my pants that day. Thanks for the good times, Bish.

Ryan said...

Despite my suspicions, I never new for sure ... and that was all the better for me, as it was a lot more funny if I thought of you as a real bishop. I thought it was hilarious. I laughed. I'll be looking for the book at B&N.

Ellen said...

Sooooo funny! I have laughed out loud many times. How can I pick a favorite post?? I loved it all--the "ward callings" (secretary to the executive secretary!, ward liar, ward dog,ward peeping tom), most/least popular sins, historical picture captions,.....etc, etc. I check regularly to see if there's a new post and am disappointed when there's not, and now I'm REALLY disappointed that this is the end. But I guess everyone gets released eventually. Hope your next calling is as much fun as this one.

John said...

Sorry to see you go. Please leave the site up for us to re-read often.

Bishop Higgins said...

Hi John. You got it. I'm planning on leaving the site up. This was hard work. I want to let it linger for a while.

Anonymous said...

So sad to see you go! I am a former Mormon, so although I do not "believe" (and will never go back), I totally get all the situations and jokes and find them absolutely hilarious!

Thanks for all the laughs!

-Sarah

Anonymous said...

I grew up in the real Provo Third Ward. Your blog was spot on. Thanks for the laughs.

Sharla said...
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Reuben said...

I love Brother Samuelson's phone calls. They were always my favorite. Best of luck.

Kate Edmondson said...

Loved this blog. Sad to see you move on, but I understand. Best of luck!

Nic said...

Loved your blog and HAVE mentioned it in casual conversation. :) Apparently you weren't around. I will miss you. :) I loved to read the comments from people that took it seriously. Very funny stuff. :)

Tracy Ngu said...

I've loved reading your blog. It's my go to blog for when I need a quick pick me up. I am glad you will be leaving it up so I can come back and re-read it whenever I need a laugh.

Thanks for your humor!

mfmosman said...

I often felt terribly about reading this blog, because I could not avoid loud laughter. I think that the end of this blog will be a good thing for my eternal soul. Maybe I can make up for it through the Tithing Elite program.

On earth, though? Bummer. Thanks so very much for sharing an amazing talent with us. Please tell me you're going to do something other than retire; you're much too good for that.

I'm out in San Francisco. Tell Charlie Tibbles he's welcome out here.

Wendy said...

This has been such a wonderful blog. I find myself thinking about breaking the word of wisdom in despair.

In all seriousness, you have a great talent, and I have gotten a huge kick out of your blog. I wish you the best of luck, and hope you get another calling that inspires you to create a new blog.

Ann said...

Bishop/Justin, I have read this blog almost since the beginning. It's in my "Mormon Stuff" RSS feed. I don't know if I have commented before (maybe back when I commented lots of places) but you have always been one of my favorite places; the place I always smile to see a new post has gone up. I understand you moving on. If you do start a new blog, it would be great to have a link here.

I never thought you were a real bishop. My favorite part of the blog was your old description where you said you have beautiful feet and are very tall.

Anonymous said...

I and my 16 kids will miss the great advice you've always given us. My oldest (Alma, age 15) is especially upset about this and I don't care what anyone is saying about the missing fast offering money - I still think it was Brother Hibbard. Let us know when you land on your feet.

-Brother Burton

belaja said...

I'm sorry, but how can this release possibly be inspired? My faith has been irrevocably shaken. Not only that, this news offends me and makes me want to sin.

I'm outa here.

(Sorry to see you go, Bishop. I've loved your blog.)

Gheenster said...

Dear bish Hig, Your work was aimed at making people laugh– Mission accomplished. But I think it did one more thing which was point out that Mormonism is growing up, and cannot be insulated from being made fun of. And who better to point out what's funny about us than ourselves? Hopefully some of those people who got offended at first will not take themselves or the Mormon culture they live in so seriously. Nice job.

Your posts here were great, but my all-time favorite encounter with the ward was when I got a phone call from brother Samuelson asking if he could borrow a shovel so he could bury a large number of hamsters that had died. -- you had me LOLing like crazy.

Sam Nielson said...

As is often the case with bishops, it's probably a relief to finally be free.

Thanks for the many laughs and all the work it took to bring them to us!

And for the record, my all-time favorite was "Sweet Hour of Sweet and Sour Pork," which I find slightly funnier than the word "cobbling."

Morgan said...

My favorite post was "Milkshakes bring all the boys to the ward!" That had me laughing for days. I started singing the song like that and would always chuckle at myself!

My most recent fave is Abraham and Buddy!

Oh man, this was a funny blog!

Carisa said...

I have like 5 pairs of shoes that need to be repaired! I will catch up on your infamous blog first though. ;)

Thad said...

I've enjoyed reading your blog. I'm Mormon myself and yet laughed at your posts. Can't believe it's really going to be the end.

Barry and Shannon said...

I'm so sad that you are releasing yourself, was it the word of wisdom that finally got to ya, or that dang chastity question? The ward will never be the same without you as our bishop.

I love how you made our culture laugh out loud funny! If you can't laugh at yourself then laugh at someone else right? Thanks for the many smiles!

Queen of Kings said...

Bishop Higgins,
We just descovered your blog a few weeks ago and have never laughed so hard! The best part is we shared it with all of our friends and told them you were a real bishop... and then we told some of our friends who knew you and they told us you weren't a Bishop (we thought all along you were... which might I add that you would make a very fun one!)
To make a long story short we have LOVED reading your blog and wish you wouldn't go you are more conversational than you realize and you have brought tons of loud laugher and joy to our lives!
oh fav post... about Abraham and Buddy HILARIOUS... also the ward callings and Charlie Tibbles the ward gay... we laugh about that all the time!
Thank You Bishop Higgins!

Tangent Woman said...

Bishop,
I am so sorry to see you go! I have been in your ward for years.
Every time in church that someone says "faith, hope and charity" - I silently add "and Brenda" - and laugh to myself and find the strength to make it through the rest of the meeting.
Thanks for your dedicated service!

Shed said...

Genious, pure genious.

David Anderson said...

I love the ward members names..."Brother Charlie Tibble" Classic stuff Hackworth. Now I must retreat to a dark room and drink myself (rootbeer of course) into a a delirious stupor now that you're gone. God speed Bish!

Phannie said...

Bishop,
My husband and I have been in your ward for a year and have loved every activity, sacrament meeting and advice. We are sad to hear you have been released. I dont know if I will be able to handle Brother Tibble or Brother Siepert as our new Bishop. It could be too much for my testimony to handle.

We might have to move. Unless you are called as a Sunday School teacher. Then I could handle at least one hour of church. I'll pray for that.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for your inspired wisdom.

John S. Shumway said...

I'll never forget Brother Samuelson's voicemail messages.

Jac Smak said...

Bishop,

So, so sad. No other blog in my reader comes close to getting me as excited when I see new postings. Not even close. Not even "Shit my dad says" which is pretty funny.

I am so sad today. What next? Will they cancel Modern Family?

Uh, I'm just sick, sick sick about this.

Becca said...

I am so sad to see your hilarity come to an end. You are a genius, seriously! If you wrote a book, I would indeed buy it. Your talent should not go to waste. Please keep writing, even if it is somewhere else. Thanks for the laughs.

Becca

Kamilli Vanilli said...

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this blog is true. And I will miss it.

Like others, my favorite posts were the executive secretary calls. Classic.

Who is the man in the photo?? And did you receive permission to use it? He does look very bishop-y.

'Til we meet again, Bishop.

The crazy Shaw Family said...

Dang it, I don't want you to go! You are the second best bishop I have ever had (the best being the one we have currently IRL, who has a weird twisted sense of humor. He let us do Kareoke for Our Valentine's day ward party, and loved that my husband and I sang a "Barenaked Ladies song, and giggled when I told him who it was by)
You truly rocketh my thanktomony!

Bishop Higgins said...

Hi Kamilli Vanilli,
the picture was bought off of either iStock or Shutterstock so I did have permission to use that image. The trouble is (and I only figured this out later) that by using that picture, I wasn't able to ever post another picture of the bishop, because it wouldn't have looked like that guy. I would love to know who that guy is in real life that is the face of Gerald Higgins.

~j. said...

Well done.

spyderette said...

thanks for all the laughs! it's nice when fellow mormons are not afraid to poke a little innocent fun at the church, it's members, and our eccentricities. more than once you've had me in tears from laughing so hard.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Well that royally sucks monkey butt. I just barely found ya and now THIS. Gee swell thanks dude.

BTW, I find the word Rickets funny too but only b/c that was my fifth grade boyfriend's last name and his friends mooned him in front of me while he was hanging from the monkey bars.

Billy said...

Just discovered this blog. So sad to think you'll stop.

Oh well, thanks for the help. You offer plenty of support for those of us struggling with our testimonies.

Sparks said...

Dude, you blow me away. Justin, darling, I already knew I was a slobbering fan, but I didn't know I was actually in love with you. I guess things are revealed when we're ready to accept them.

Seriously great work, man. I am an indefatigable smart ass and think that if you can't' make fun of yourself (and you're loved ones) you need to unknot your knickers and knock back a couple cold ones. Something to heal you of your tightass ways. (Sorry for the swear, Bish.)

We Marmens are a unique bunch. A peculiar people, if you will, and that leaves us way open for some darn good theater. Thanks for taking up the charge.

Staying classy,

Megan

dbd said...

Thank you for sharing your talent. I, too, just recently found this site and very much appreciate the Kirby-like approach to Mormon culture.

Carrie said...

My testimony is really shaky right now Bishop! Can you call yourself to be the Relief Society President before you officially get released? I need your humor and counsel every. single. day. You're so refreshing & witty--love it!

Carrie said...

PS Who is on your avatar pic?

Anonymous said...

As a former Bishop myself I would like to share with you one of the many exciting things that comes with being released as Bishop and that is you no longer need to keep confidential all that personal information that ward members shared with you. Yep that’s right, the confidentiality obligation is gone. Just think about it, all those personal conversations you had with members, no need to keep them a secret any longer! Trust me you will get plenty of invitations to parties as everyone will want to hear your “confidential” stories.

By the way, now that you are no longer bound to keep confidential all that personal information I am wondering if you want to help me with the book I am writing. The working title is “Funny Transgressions and Hilarious Excommunications”. I am betting Deseret Book will publish when finished. Let me know.

All the best with the shoe business.

Sincerely,
-Br. Reed M. Jenkins

Anonymous said...

I loved the Tithing Elite program and the take a homeless person boating day. Hilarious - and when I tell other people about it and they don't see how funny it is, I feel sad for them. This blog was great! Jessica

jeremy said...
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John said...

Brilliant Satire. You will be missed.

John Larsen

Bishop Higgins said...

Hi Carrie,
I answer that question just a few comments above your question. Thanks for reading.

Alison said...

I love absolutely everything you do. You are one hilarious guy, well loved guy.

I'm really hoping you'll take me as one of your wives in the next life?

Charlie Tibble was my fave. There's one in every ward. In fact, we now refer to 'ours' as Charlie.

I will miss you, Gerald. (Can call you Gerald now, since you've been released?)

Thanks for all the good times!

JustMe said...

Please, please, please don't leave. You are my favorite blogger. And your blog became my friend test - if they didn't "get" your blog, they didn't get to be my friend.

I have laughed out loud many times and shared you with people I knew would love you. Will you be leaving the FB group, or will you still leave us words of wisdom there?

Thank you for brightening my days.

Gavin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jeremy said...

I have forwarded more posts from this blog than all the other blogs I follow combined. You've been so great and hilarious. I raise my hand to the square to show my thanks and gratitude for your loyal service!

laura said...

Hi,

I'm LDS, have been all my life. I live in the UK, so you've achieved international fame, and if you'd ever visited Stevenage Ward, you've have heard your blog mentioned in conversation! I've told all my frineds aobut you (well, the ones with nice strong testimonies at least!) I'd also just plucked up the courage to share it with my dad (didn't want him to worry I'd gone too apostate :-) ) You have to have a sense of humour in this life - we've all got a lot to live up to and, as Joseph Smith said, sometimes you've just got to let your hair down. Your blog had me laughing out loud regularly and I'm really going to miss it...

Anonymous said...

The single greatest blog in American History

Tonia said...

I love this blog! My favorite post is hard to choose, but the one that comes to mind is the Baby Blessing one. I laughed so hard I cried when I read it.
I thought for a minute this might be my brother writing this blog, but I'm pretty sure we're not related.

Anonymous said...

Oh great one....to think we grew up in the same town...what does that say about me...or you? Must be why I find this so DANG funny. Now that I have just been converted to your blog, Please Don't Go!

Natalie said...

My favorite...the one about the ward members having to bring their own oxen to the pioneer activity. Tooooo funny!!!

Lisa said...

sad! this was, by far, the funniest blog I've run into. You had me engaging in loud laughter more than once.

Favorite post? I still crack up at "My Milkshake brings all the boys to the Lord"

Good satire is hard to find, and this was good. The picture had my husband and I giggling every time we saw it--it's the quintessential Mormon leadership picture, really.

Thank you so much for this blog, and best wishes to you in the future.

Michael Carpenter said...

So long and thanks for all the fish.

David said...

Bishop Higgins,
I am a real Bishop in New Jersey and I really enjoyed your blog it made my week, I will miss the laughter you brought to a very serious calling in life. Good luck in your fuutre endeavors you will be missed by me, as I will now have to find something else to laugh at.

David

Emily said...

This is the first time I've read your blog, and now you're leaving? I'm just getting started! This is really, really funny!!!

Emily said...

I've just been introduced to your blog today and I've been reading and laughing... and now you are leaving? I'm just getting started!

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say, other than "Brilliant!". Thanks for making us all laugh.

John said...

From a long time reader and first time commenter. Thanks for saying out loud what we all (well, most of us) really think about members of our wards.

singlemormonchick said...

please dont go! i just found this blog, you cant go away! i loved how you had the ward gay, the ward liar, and the ward snake. i loved the rewards program for members who paid 15 and 20% tithing. be the eqp or something! i just love your sense of humor. i know its rare for bishops to be single,but....are you? maybe all you need is a faithful woman to keep you in the bishopric. think about it.

Anonymous said...

Nooooooooo!

collegeadam said...

LOVE your blog, Bish. Too many favorites to just pick one. Honestly, though, I thought you were a group of friends writing it all because the comedy was so varied. Great satire, my friend.

Let us know if you do anything else, Justin!

Bishop-for-Reals said...

Oh man, for reals? I thought theyd' leave you in that calling longer than that. I'm actually a real Mormon bishop, and on a serious note, your blog reminded me to lighten up and find some humor in the "job." Thanks!! I'm glad the blog is going to stay up for a while, but I may be too lazy to log-in and end up just buying the book. Does it come in a 3-hole punched version that I can add to the back of the Handbook of Instructions? That'd be righteous!

Gretchen. said...

*sniff... sniff* "Waaaaaaaaah!"

Lance said...

Dear Bishop Higgins,
Thank you so much for you words of spiritual humor. I'd have to say that, in following your blog for over a year, one of my favorite posts was "Baby Blessing." You will be missed, dear Bishop.

Nicole said...

Loved the blog! My husband and I laughed until we cried. Tithing Elite was hilarious, and we loved all the times you "accidentally" told us why so and so REALLY got ex'd.

You'll be missed!

Shanakin Skywalker said...

Please don't leave! I love the blog because I too love to laugh at our wacky culture. I think it's good for us to be able to laugh at ourselves. Seriously, I will riot if you stop.

ray-ray says said...

love, Love, LOVE the blog! hilarious posts and spot on with the quirkiness of what we as members do. you will be missed.


...the word verification for this comment is, "manti"...how funny is that?!

it's not?

oh. well, i thought it was.

Heather said...

Yo BISH!
I am weeping as I type this...I will miss your posts!! I have enjoyed this blog dearly! I am a hardcore mo and was NEVER offended reading your blog, if we can't laugh at ourselves, something is wrong! Anyway, I thought it was a riot! I have shared this blog with my all my LDS and NON-LDS friends and family! It was loved by all!

Good luck to you and may you someday be inspired to start another blog!
THANKS FOR ALL THE ENTERTAINMENT!

BJ said...

I will miss looking for new posts. I loved reading this blog, it always made me laugh. I've been a member of the church my entire life, and I figure if you can't laugh at yourself who can you laugh at. The humor has always been witty, and never made me think you were taking aim at the church.

good luck in your next calling!

karmen said...

I'll miss you Bishop. Loved your blog and will miss it!

AJ said...

I looked forward to the giggles I got whenever I read this blog. I am sorry it is going away because there isn't anything quite the same to compare it to for me. The baby blessing blog was one of my most favorite blogs. I forwarded that near and far because it was too true. So much of what I read here was too true, which is why it's so funny. Thanks for letting me laugh.

Joy said...

I am going to miss you so much. I loved the names of your ward members. They were all just spot on. I just now saw my comment about "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel" on now gone. I was so proud to have made it onto your pages. I loved readin your list of friends on Facebook and seeing people I know.It was nice to see others abler to laugh at our foibles. Thanks for your gift of writing snd painting such pictures with words.

Heidi said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud at work too many times to count. You are extremely talented!! Best of luck to you.

Bridget said...

I say ex-communicate him for sure! My favorite was "milkshakes bring all the boys to the ward" also, the description of yourself. Who knew the pre-existence was windy?!

Dudley said...

Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom and faith-promoting episodes. They have made my own experience as a real-life bishop bearable, and even more enjoyable. We'll miss you!

K.B. said...

...Sooo does this mean we can now have our Bishop "interviews" in public, rather than late Monday nights, in your office??

K.B. said...

I wondered why the bishop's "office" had brooms, shopvac's, and rolls of papertowels in it.

Anonymous said...

This blog is one of my fav's for a good laugh.
Maybe your next job could be church magazine specialist. We have one of those in our ward.
Gotta go, this took me 10 minutes to type with my one measly arm.

tesg said...

Someday, Kurt Hale needs to bring the 3rd Ward to life in a movie.

Thanks for the laughs. I doubt you'll ever comprehend just how much joy you've brought to people's lives.

brossettelewis said...

What?!? You can't. I'm saddened by your release/excomm. I can't believe you are trading healing souls for heels and soles. I guess it's true...we build you up to be these perfect people, but even you, dear bishop, are not exempt from not choosing the right. ;*(

PS: If you take it back, I'll totally drop the guilt trip.

TanyaSue said...

I think my favorite post was the "guest bishop" post, and then when you followed it up by saying you would be spending tithing money on an Applebee's gift card for them.

Your blog has been great comic relief. I even got work associates hooked on this blog.

Thanks for the entertainment, and best of luck on your futur endeavors!

Anonymous said...

You'll be missed..thanks for the laughs. My Fav? The tithing elite program - it was a "pilot program" right? ..I kept waiting for it to come to my ward!

Anonymous said...

Very sad to see you go - I love your blog and your ability to make us laugh at ourselves!

Paul said...

Thanks for you lightening the days past. As a former real bishop, I truly saw and appreciated the humor. Thanks again.

Glenn said...

Just when I was hoping Bishop Higgins would be interviewed on Mormon Expression...

Stephen Erastus Knudsen III said...

Dear Bishop,

You succeeded greatly where I failed miserably. I'll just consider this modern-day translation. You will be missed.

Tabitha said...

Bish,

You put the sion in confession. i will miss all our intimite discussions, and I am sure you will miss all the terrible gory details. But I recently learned through the spirit that Jesus can re-frost licked sup cakes, so I think we're all good now. still, I would love to hear your deep authorative voice one last time (so why not respond to John's emails and get your sweet bishop's behind over to the ME podcast already).

ILY,

Tabi

jazzycat said...

Thanks for all the fun! I loved your bolg, it really made my days better. I'll miss having you around. Best of luck, Jazzy

LoriPhdinme said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jeremy said...

Thanks for the great blog. Your post nearly always make me smile.

Ryan Hinman said...

Justin,

I'm not sure you have fully realized the power of your blog. This thing is amazing. You really need to pass this on. To someone. Anyone. Keep the dream alive - which they didn't do for Pioneer Memorial. It is now the most beautiful parking lot.

Seriously, pass the mantle. Or the torch. Relight the fire within.

NoSurfGirl said...

Please don't stop posting. :) :)

My favorite post was the one about multiplying pillows in the bedroom.

Holmesiefamily said...

My whole family has loved this blog for the last few years and I am actually one of those that decided to believe you were a real bishop because heck you were hilarious.. I kind of wish my bishop was a little more Higginsy. I have laughed so hard that I wanted to die and so will be so sad to see you go. Thanks for all the entertainment. You will be missed! Also I would just like to say that you have made me more proud than ever to be a Mormon if only just to be able to say "see.. some of us are really hilarious!"

Sara B said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Just Me said...

Hey, Mister. I emailed you forever ago to tell you that no matter who you are, I love your blog. And unlike some people who haven't actually expressed their love for your blog, I actually have. Had some hilarious responses to some of my old comments. Which are in response to your hilarious blog. You asked what people thought of you.... I knew that you either were or used to be LDS. You always knew too much about the religion to just be some random person trying to make fun of it. But you always showed respect. I personally am what I guess is considered "ex-Mormon", but I respect the religion due to family members that I adore being LDS. So I guess what drew me to your blog in the first place was that you weren't "bashing Mormons". As much as I don't believe in the religion, I get offended and angry when people make fun of it with no knowledge about it.
So thank you for all the laughs! Thank you for the blog. And like everyone else, I'm sad you have ended it.
(And no, I NEVER thought you were a real bishop. And no offense to those that did- but REALLY???)

Bishop Higgins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bishop Higgins said...

Tesg said: Someday, Kurt Hale needs to bring the 3rd Ward to life in a movie.

You're right. How do we get that going? Anyone on here know how to get Kurt Hale on the horn?

Sakerra550 said...

I've read and enjoyed your blog, maybe not often but it's been fun. Have a good life.

Anonymous said...

I will add to the comments with a big thank you for the laughs--you know the kind where you quit breathing, tears run down your face and you pee your pants, yeah way too many of those happened from so many of your posts. I appreciate your humor, thanks for sharing you talents and making me laugh--good luck!

Chelsea said...

I just found your blog today. I can't tell you how sorry I am for missing the work in progress! Another blog, please!

Matsby said...

I've loved the blog. Perfect execution, perfect tone, perfect profile picture. I think my favorite is the ward gay and the pioneer tribute.

Don't worry, it's all cool if you decide to keep the blog going after all.

- Brother Matsby

Brad Anderson said...

Ah Rickets!The Bishop can't leave!

Lexi said...

Noooooooo! Such sadness in my heart. You can't quit. I need you. I also have some things I need to clear up...

Steve said...

I loved your stuff, although I was not very active in attending your blog. It was my sister (who isn't LDS) that made me aware of your blog. She loves it too, and I think you might have been close to converting her. I think you need to resume writing as the new Bishop of the ward. What's his name? Huggins, you say?

i i eee said...

I will sorely miss Brother Royal Samuelson's voicemail messages.

jenica said...

i've absolutely loved reading over the years, the satire was spot on and it made me feel like somehow i wasn't alone in thinking that church could be very very funny. knowing that it's you, justin, makes me respect you all the more.

CTR Rings said...

What a sad day - back in February that is.

Would you continue this blog if you were, by chance, called to be a real bishop?

Adam and Steve said...

I liked it when you poked fun at the 'ward gay'. Being a gay Mormon myself, I feel like we dont get much light-hearted humor thrown our way.

dharvey said...

I'm so sad to see you leave. I loved your blog, and you're a very talented writer and humorist. Hope you didn't get in trouble with church officials for your blog. In your last post, you seem to really emphasize your affinity for the church, so I'm wondering if someone at church questioned your faith or took exception to your satire. I sure hope not. Best wishes always.

scrapmom4 said...

Your wit is unparalleled in the bloggernacle. Good job, and good luck in all your cobbling and other ventures.

Kim said...

Noooooo!!! I was so devastated when I read this post, it has taken me until now to recover and respond. All of yours posts were my favorites - except this one and you have brought me great joy.

I didn't start following it at the beginning, but it was fairly early on and I went back and read not only all of your posts, but all of the comments too. It is hard for me to imagine anyone thought you were a real Bishop and it was incomprehensible that anyone was offended.

Most of my family (and many friends) are fans and I have a lot of Bishops, Stake Presidents and even General Board members in my family, who all loved it. Several years ago, when a very strong family was considering moving into my Dad's ward, he as Bishop offered them a discount on tithing, if they would, as a joke. At least I am pretty sure he was joking.

Please never take this blog down and please consider writing another one soon. You are a very funny guy and actually caused me several laughing injuries, which I am willing to suffer again and again for you.

Brent said...

Thanks for the entertainment. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and we all need to take a step back and laugh at ourselves.

Anonymous said...

Dang funny... sorry to see you go!

Michemily said...

My dad often jokes about your blog, but since he's not tech-savvy, he doesn't get to it much. Well, since I'm here to visit him, he asked me to find the blog for him again, and he was so sad to find that the bishop was released. He even read up on old posts. So thanks. We got a lot of good laughs.

Danielson Family said...

Miss your wit w the blog and Facebook. Its was nice to be able to laugh and some of our goofy parts of our culture. Please come back!

breymom said...

I'm so sad, I was raised in Eastern Idaho born LDS and your blog was a huge comic relief for me:O) I hope you make a HUGE come back soon! You should do stand up and travel to different wards !

Betina said...

Mormon culture leaves itself wide open for a few good laughs. I liked reading your insight into our general weirdness as the only true church on the face of the earth.

We really need to take ourselves a little less seriously. Bishop Higgins was a good catalyst for this.

Angela said...

I think this blog is hilarious but I must speak up about one of the first posts - the "Lies lies lies: Satan is a liar" post with a very immodest, pornographic-enough picture of a woman. Even though you were obviously writing satire and were not serious, you still shouldn't have put that picture up unless you put those little blocker boxes over her cleavage.

Matthew said...

I think one of the things Mormons need to learn to do is laugh at themselves more. This blog helps us do that. Please keep writing.

Matthew said...

I think one thing Mormons really need to learn to do better is laugh at themselves. We take ourselves way to seriously.

This blog helps us to do that so please keep writing.

annie said...

thanks for the humorous look at our strange strange culture. you definitely made me laugh. a lot.

Stake Pres. said...

As a currently serving stake president I must say that I am completely disgusted at the content of this blog.

Alan Rock Waterman said...

Are you serious about the price of your book?!

I wanted to review it on my blog, but I can't in good conscience recommend my readers pay such exorbitant prices at a time when their money is so desperately needed by the Church to help fund the City Creek Mall and that expensive hotel in Hawaii.

(You can send me a review copy anyway.)

Bishop Higgins said...

To the person serving as Stake President that is disgusted at the content of the blog, all I have to say is thank you for your kind words of encouragement. So many of the comments we get are mostly about how great this blog is and how the spirits of the saints have been lifted by reading this. Many faithful have come here as a refuge from the world of garbage and trash, like that show on TV with Snooki. Then, they leave a comment and mention how this blog has helped them become a better person. In fact, one person, after reading this blog, decided to adopt a chinese baby instead of her previous plan of just getting a dog. (It was going to be a Yorkshire Terrier). Your comment has given me the inspiration to want to continue the blog and do something about the disgusting content. You will be happy to know that I've already removed 3 out of the 10 pictures showing cleavage on this site! I will ask our own Stake President, President Martin (he's very tall and I like many of his suits) if he will make me Bishop again. I doubt he will. But it doesn't hurt to ask. Thank you for reading. Just like Jesus, we appreciate every person.

Bishop Higgins said...

Also, Stake President, thanks so much for letting me know you are a Stake President. I'm so impressed! If you hadn't mentioned it, I would have thought you were only a cub master. Bless you.

Lu Holt said...

I just found this blog, you have to keep it going. I love it!!!

One a Bishop, always a Bishop, so ya, I vote for you to keep it going!!!
Thanks for the laughs!!!