A diary excerpt from Jonah

Dear diary,
You're never going to guess where I am. I mean, honestly, if I tell you, you are never going to believe this. I'll give you some clues. Because of where I am right now, I predict I'm going to be talked about for at least 50 years after my death. Also, it stinks in here. And, Geppetto, the father of Pinocchio is here, too. You're right! I'm inside the belly of a wale. How did you guess that?

Geppetto has been here a long time. He's put up shelves and keeps a few things there. He's said I can have the middle shelf, but honestly, I don't think I'm going to be here all that long. My plan is to pray for forgiveness and hopefully be barfed out. I'm not sure what's going to be worse. Barfed out, or coming out the other way. In any case, I've got to get out of here. I can hardly stand the smell, and just think, if email was already invented (it's not) I'd probably have like, 200 new messages when I got out of here. And imagine if Facebook was invented (it's not) my status update would probably say something like, "786 BC better be funner than 787 BC. Being in the belly of a whale sucks."