Least popular Mother's Day gifts

• Ball-peen hammer
• One gallon drum of sea salt
• Track jacket that you just got from the hall closet
• Jergens hand lotion
• Coupon book of 10 free hugs. Oh wait. Those are sort of popular.
• Chinese/English dictionary
• Baby chickens. (That's Easter, silly)
• French horn
• Coupon for 50% off your next Haitian child adoption
• Paxil
• 1984 Ford Festiva