We've been praying for the wrong leg

Many of you have been asking how Kip Nelson has been doing, and particularly, how come his leg isn't getting any better after all the fasting and prayers we've been doing. As it turns out, we've been praying for the wrong leg. It's the left leg that's got the gummy knee. That's probably my fault and I take nearly all the blame.

Do not sell keys to the building on E-bay

We ask that you not sell the keys to our building. Do not sell them and do not give them to your friends. We know that Casey Altoon, for example, has been selling stolen goods on E-bay, including keys to our building. It has been reported to me by his mother that his medication has been adjusted and that many of your missing items should be returned shortly. I believe that includes Candy Larsen's kitten, Phil Drygert's garden hose, and Rose Thompson's urn collection. She also wondered if someone had one of those padded helmets she could borrow for Casey. He sold his on E-bay.

I was giving my son Nathan a lecture

Many of you have wondered why it has been such a long time since I kept you up to date on the ward happenings. Had I been released, many of you wondered? Had I been spending time at a house of ill repute, others questioned. None of those. Wrong. All of you. I have been giving my son Nathan a lecture. It was long on substance and long on length. That is what has been going on. In the mean time, Brother Samuelson, the Executive Secretary has been doing a bang up job on running the ward in to the ground. Thank goodness I'm back.

Come for the prayer - Stay for the crab

Brother Tibbits is making his wonderful Crab Cakes this Sunday night to be had after our monthly ward prayer. As always, we'll be having it at the church. Come for the prayer, stay for the crab.