Sister Villenstein's pray took so long on Sunday that it gave me a chance to prepare and eat a hoagie sandwich before she finished. Delicious.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Starting this spring, BYU will teach a class on how to be a general authority. The class not only prepares participants in becoming general authorities, but it will also help you learn lots more scriptures, including a few about faith, and some about prayer.
Class topics with include:
1. How to select a proper necktie
2. Which shades of dark blue are appropriate for a suit
3. How to lovingly scorn sinners
4. Voice intonation
5. Avoiding loud laughter
6. Avoiding fun
7. How to read from a tele-prompter
8. Food storage myths
9. The two occasions when it's ok to swear
10. Whether or not Steve Martin is a Mormon and if not, what can we do to get him to be one
11. How to cut down a walnut tree you planted and make your very own podium
12. Celebrities we wish had never been Mormon to begin with
13. White hair, gray hair, no hair--It's all good
14. The real reason blacks couldn't hold the priesthood for a while
15. Underground tunnel navigation review
16. Where to find stories of kids falling down wells, or stories about people picking up talking snakes
17. How to donate to Rush Limbaugh
18. Most hilarious excommunications
19. Be sure to marry someone better than you, but that talks to adults like they're talking to a kindergarten class
20. Doctors that will discretely remove tattoos - (no one's prefect)
Posted by Bishop Higgins at 11:12 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
When I first became bishop two years ago I thought one of the perks would be that when I interview people, I would get to see some people I hate, cry. But as it turns out, I don't hate anyone and I never really have. So that was a silly thing to think would be a perk.
Posted by Bishop Higgins at 5:57 AM
Thursday, November 06, 2008
I had a dream last night that Joseph Smith prayed to find out who to vote for and his answer was that he should not vote for any of the candidates. That none of them would lead us in the right direction. But instead, that he should write in the name of Kelly Ripa. That's when I realized I was dreaming.
Posted by Bishop Higgins at 5:51 AM
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Well, thanks again for our guest bishop stepping in while I was away with the family in Lubbock Texas. One thing that happens to a man when he goes to Lubbock Texas is that he realizes how much the Lord has blessed him to be able to live in Provo Utah, what, with these beautiful mountains and our plentiful shopping areas that are closed on Sunday. Lubbock, my heart goes out to you. You have no mountains and your stores are open on Sunday so your town folk may be tempted to break the Sabbath. Oh, Lubbock Texas, how have you fallen so low?
Posted by Bishop Higgins at 3:38 PM