Friday, November 30, 2007

"One Arm Club" means more than just fewer arms

Many of you have been confused by the newest bishop-approved club in our ward, called the "One Arm" club started by Dusty Capple. The club is for anyone that feels different due to a lost limb, an unusually large nose, blindness, or any other physical problem that makes you feel, at least occasionally, inadequate. The "One Arm Club" is a support group for you. The name is misleading because to some, it suggests that you have to have only one arm to be in the club. Not so. That's just a catchy name we came up with. Missing fingers, one leg shorter than the other, teeth that are too big for your small mouth, blotchy're all welcome to come. Even you, brother Fardly. Hop-on over to the church on Thursdays for a lot of fun, and support from others that face similar challenges!

Challenges! Aren't they great!

I love to help

Are you like me? Do you like to help others in need? Well, that’s what I love. I love to help. If I see someone with their zipper down or a booger on their nose, I’ll tell them. I’ll do it in a nice way too, of course. I won’t laugh and point and hope they inadvertently smear the booger on the application they just filled out. I’ll kindly tell them. Because I really think that’s what Jesus would have done. I don’t think he would have pointed to his apostles and said, “Ha ha, apostles. Look at that man with his zipper down. He sure has a lot to learn about zipping up his zipper!”

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Wholesome activites

In this crazy, mixed up world of ours, with all of Satan's barbs, I sometimes wonder if we forget all the wholesome activities that are still available to us. Here are some things that are a wonderful way to pass the time in ways other than video games, television, and Asian pornography.

Playing marbles
Arm wrestling
Reading poems to a loved one, or to an old person
Horse shoes
Memorizing a clean limerick
Tying knots (Who remembers the clove hitch?!!!)
Finger painting

And while it's true that I looked on the internet for some ideas, you don't really need the internet to have fun.

How great the wisdom and the stew

Brother Finkle's lecture and dinner series "How great the wisdom and the stew" will be starting again right after Thanksgiving. Be sure and sign up early, as he always fills these classes up. As I heard one brother say last week, "Who cares if he's 97 years old. That's some of the best stew west of Memphis!" Yes, it's good stew, and good lectures, also. This year he will be covering some of the lesser known pioneer stories, including one about a young man who made a covered wagon entirely out of straw. He died, of course, but he had faith as strong as an ox. It's too bad he didn't have an ox, though. He probably would have made it further across the plains.

First, we give the casserole a blessing

If you aren't sick or ailing, after you hear this, you just might wish you had gout or lupus or something. Sister Culbert has made a number of her award winning spicy radish casseroles that we, as a bishopric, will be passing out to the sick and the ailing. What we'll do first, is to give the casserole a blessing. That way, you'll be getting a hot meal and a blessing at the same time. It was my idea.