Thursday, May 24, 2007

It's true

I know this might sound like a cliche, but a bird in the hand really is worth two in the bush.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Finally - The casserole committee has been formed.

Sister Wainscough has been called as president of the casserole committee. As you know, this is one ward that takes their casseroles seriously. New baby? The mother gets a casserole. Broken leg? The injured gets a casserole. Death in the family? Casseroles all around. In fact for years, many of the sisters in the ward were members of the highly elite group of casserole bakers called "Casserollers". Only 50 people in the United States were members.

However, lately, some have felt the quality of casserole being baked and delivered to members of the ward have faltered. This was made clear last month when Sister Odin was assigned to take Sister Blazer a casserole. As it has been reported to me, all Sister Odin did was fold a pizza in half, stick it in a bowl, and call that a casserole. It's not. And it disrespects all the other ladies in the ward for whom casserole baking is an art.

And so the casserole committee has been formed. What this means, is that if a casserole is to be delivered to any member of the ward, you must first submit portions of that casserole to Sister Wainscough or any member of her committee. It is recommended that a second casserole be made and submitted so that the casserole to be delivered can still remain as one that has not been tasted.

This committee will solve all our casserole problems, I am sure of it.

This week's top sins!

Well, the votes are in. As I've met with some of you from the ward this week, I've come up with a tally of the most confessed sins. Here are the top five.

1. Breaking the word of wisdom
2. Lusting after Sister Blassengame
3. Pride
4. Sending roses to Sister Blassengame
5. Not reading the scriptures.

Let's do better this week!

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

That was the worst testimony I've ever heard

Last Sunday, little Roger Briggs had the worst testimony I've ever heard. My wife said, "But he's only five". That may well be, but he never mentioned any member of the Godhead or his family or his health or how much the bishopric cares about him. None of that. Just some stupid thing about a dog and a turtle. I don't know why I'm so mad about this, but it really gets my goat.