Loud laughter addiction night cancelled

Brother Dalton was planning on leading a discussion group this Wednesday on how to avoid loud laughter to those in our ward that seem to have an addiction to it. However, it has been cancelled because he will be in the hospital for the next two weeks. His wife has informed me that he slipped on a squeaky toy that his son left at the top of the stairs and he landed at the bottom with a broken hip and a broken arm. His wife thought it was hilarious, but I see nothing funny about it. I also don't see anything funny about cataracts, scurvy, the gout or restless leg disorder which is also sometimes referred to as Jimmy Legs, The Orchestra, spare legs, "the kicks" or sewing machine foot. And I don't remember if I mentioned this in Sacrament Meeting last week or not, but Brother Mendleson has restless leg disorder and we should remember him in our prayers.

Did someone borrow the organ?

Quick question. Did someone borrow the organ this week from the chapel? I'll just ask that you please return it. We'll need it tomorrow for Sacrament Meeting.

Love,
Bishop Higgins

Burning In The Bosom Night has been cancelled

Sister Metcalfe, our activities committee chairman has informed me that Burning In The Bosom Night has been cancelled due to some confusion regarding our agenda. This disappoints me on many different levels and I just want to say to brother Clovenhuff that there is a reason it was called Burning In The Bosom night and not Teat Grab Night. Frankly, I'm too disgusted to write about this further.

A brand new ward calling I invented!

Just wanted to let you know that sister Tina Vickers has been called as the President of the Beehives. Not the Beehives young women's group--but the actual beehives--hive of bees--that we will have stewardship over this year at the church farm. In the fall, we'll have a honey sale at the church and the beehives will provide the dinner. And now I'm talking about the young women's group.

What's more lovely than a kitten?

"If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praisworthy, we seek after these things".

If that's true, then I believe God wants us to look at this picture of a kitten. Consider it a commandment of God to stare at this kitten. For some, that might mean 30 seconds. For others, two hours. I can't tell you how long to look at this picture of a virtuous kitten. You'll have to use the spirit to know for sure.