Our
ward historian, Brother Melden, has recently discovered an interesting historical document, and would like to share it with the ward. It is dating advice from
the prophet Brigham Young, dated 1873. It is a privilege to see this
before the rest of the world.
Brigham Young: Brethren, when
courting a young lady, it is important to remember to let virtue garnish
your thoughts unceasingly. And don't forget to bring her a carnation.
If you can, give her father a mule upon arrival. Not necessarily every
time, but the first time, and then about one month later.
Always
wear your best. Take her arm when walking down the street and make your
intentions known from the very beginning. If she is to be your four or
fifth wife, it is important for her to know this right from the start.
Never bring any of your other wives on a date with a prospective wife.
Do not pet.
Properly
choosing a prospective date can be subjective, but within the following
constraints. A proper lady will be able to play the harpsichord and can
recite many poems. If the poems have been learned from sailors, steer
clear of this one. If she snorts at any time, that indicates a problem.
Often
you will ask yourself, but what will I talk about? Ask her about
herself. Ask her if she has any fond memories about crossing the plains.
Ask her if her shoulder is to the wheel. (It's a metaphor. If her
shoulder is actually on a wheel, that's worse than snorting).
You
may also want to ask her where she gets her petticoats. Then come and
tell me. Some of my wives would like to find out where the best deal on
petticoats can be had.
And always, always, always, remember to ask if she has any sisters.
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