Sunday, November 13, 2011

The Prophet Noah talks to his son

Thanks to our ward historian Verna Corber for passing along this ancient dialogue. Noah talks to his son on the second day of being on the arc.

Son: Dad, I was wondering if you could open the door and I could just go back outside for about 20 minutes.

Noah: Of course not! We're all sealed up and soon we'll be floating away. Honestly, boy, what is the matter with you?

Son: Well, to tell you the truth, I wasn't 100% certain that it would actually rain. I mean, I  didn't mind helping with the arc because I thought it would be an awesome club-house if it didn't rain. And then we started getting all the animals, and I thought, holy smokes, my dad is really serious about this.

Noah: Of course I was serious about it. I'm serious about everything. I'm even serious about growing a beard.

Son: Yeah, nice beard.

Noah: Thank you son. I don't get told that very often.

Son: Well, I really do need to get out of the arc.

Noah: I already told you. The answer is no. We must stay in here until there is a sign from God. Why are you interested in leaving the arc?

Son: I want to run home and get a few extra sweaters.

Noah: Sweaters?

Son: Well, yeah. Like I said, I didn't really think we'd be going through with this so I didn't pack very much stuff, and it's a lot colder in this arc than I thought it would be. I had no idea it would be this cold.

Noah: Well the answer is still No. If I let you go for a sweater, your sister will want to get out and go get a jade bracelet or some decorative ribbons.

Son: Why would she need decorative ribbons on a boat?

Noah: That's not the point. The point is, if I let you get out, others will want to get out and the next thing you know some of those sinners will want to get on the boat and we won't have enough room for them and the plan will be out of whack and God will say, why doth you stray from the path in the name of three sweaters?

Son: I can see where you might think that. But on the other hand, he might say, Oh, look how Noah is so good at being adaptive in difficult situations as they arise.

Noah: I doubt he'd say that. You don't know him like I do and I can honestly tell you that it's highly unlikely he'd say that.

Son: Hmmm….Ok. But how long do you think we'll be in here?

Noah: I don't know, but if I was to guess, I'd say five days. Six days, tops.


DeNae said...

Would he have let his kid go back to use the bathroom one last time? Cuz I'm thinking that by the end of all that close, family and animal time, they were all wishing they'd given a little more thought to facilities management.

Roean said...

:)) I love this. Reminds me of the old Bill Cosby routine about Noah and the ark.

tonibergbauer said...

Oh Bishop Higgins! If I could have a new ward daddy in my ward family, you would be him...