Sunday, April 05, 2009

My Conference Talk

The following is a reprint from last September. But we've had so many people move in to the ward since then, that I felt like it was worth repeating. Here goes:

I won't be speaking in General Conference this year, but that hasn't stopped me from preparing a talk, just in case things change between now and October.

My talk is on the importance of husbands allowing their wives get as many pillows for the bed as they want. In my experience, there is a direct correlation between the happiness in marriage and the quantity of bed pillows therein. Some of the happiest couples I know have a bedroom that would be mistaken for a pillow museum or pillow show-room.

I'm not going to say how many pillows a couple should have. That is to be left up to the individual couple and can only be decided after much fasting and prayer. And don't let anyone tell you how many you should have. Except eight is a baseline. At least get eight. But then, after that, don't let anyone tell you how many more you should have.

The pillows don't all need to be full size. Some of them can be cute, small, decorative pillows. In fact, some of them will need to be if you're going to get 20 or 30 pillows on that bed. And I don't need to tell you this, but some of those little Chinese pillows are so adorable.

Should you go in debt to buy a bigger bed in order to accommodate the amount of pillows needed to secure a happy marriage? Quite simply, yes.

And that's what I'd talk about in conference.


Heidi Ashworth said...

Ah, bishop, how I wish you were mine!

Ipo said...

I'm looking forward to you and Carole Mikita speaking in General Conference. I hope you bring some of your own collection of pillows as visual aids.

Bishop Higgins said...

And Heidi, I wish you were mine. But you're not, so let's just stop the flirty and the games. And do you really have a sister, or was that just you in a wig?