Saturday, March 21, 2009

Pretty cool badger, dude

Pretty good week, this week, although I don't know that brother Topper Bottomus would say the same thing. Car trouble again and this time, not with the engine. Raccoons. They've been living in the backseat, and as you know, he delivers the Thrifty Nickle newspapers and so sometimes that back seat gets pretty crowded and cramped. Good thing he never had kids because where would they sit?

So he found out about the raccoons because of the badger. I didn't even know they lived in this area, but if anyone could attract a badger and a family of raccoons on accident, it would be Topper Bottomus.

Turns out those raccoons had been living in the car for about two weeks. One of the smaller raccoons of the bunch, got out during a routine stop on the newspaper route and went straight up to a badger and took a carrot right out of his mouth and ran back to the car. That badger took off after the raccoon and didn't catch up to him until he was in the back seat of Topper's car. Then a fight broke out.

This was all being witnessed by two teenagers. One of them slumps over more than my son Nathan and the other one slumps over even further than that. When Topper got back to the car and saw four dead raccoons and a live badger in the back seat, all those two boys said to him was, "Pretty cool badger you got there, dude".

Anyone in the ward need a badger?


Beefeater McGurkus said...

we used to refer to my best friends overly hairy chest as his "badger". i don't know if his badger could best some wild animals in a fight, but it was every bit as intimidating as a real badger and just as ugly.

why don't we keep the lil' bugger as a ward mascot?

Bishop Higgins said...

Ward mascot, you say? That's not bad idea. We already have Mister Wiggles, the ward dog, but he's hardly a mascot. Let's all pray about it.