Thursday, July 24, 2008

Who would you rather baptize?

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, or, Captain Hook?

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Given that women are unable to baptize I find that question rather sexist, Bishop,and you should too. It's absurd that a 42 year old woman with 2 Master Degrees, who runs her own Fortune 500 company, manages 375 employees, speaks 3 languages and competes in a global ecomony can still be outranked by a 12 year old boy in the Mormon church.
By the way, I know what you're thinking and I am not a lesbian.

Bishop Higgins said...

What is absurd is that you think your worldly achievements should qualify you for spiritual matters. Another thing that is absurd is the cost of tickets to The Stadium of Fire. And one more thing that is absurd is when young people think it's "cool" to smoke cigarettes.

Bishop Higgins said...

Oh, and by the way. I didn't think you were a lesbian. I thought you were Hulga, from Flannery O' Connor's story "Good Country People".

benjamin worthlin said...

I would probably prefer hook, due to fact that i dont wanna touch the dirty sinner. hes catholic anyway and is going to hell so that would be a waste of clean water.

Anonymous said...

What's absurd is you think a penis qualifies you for spiritual matters.

Bishop Higgins said...

You're absurd. No sir, you are. No you are. No you are. No you're absurd. No you are.

How absurd.

Bishop Higgins said...

P.S. I have a penis.

Tanya Sue said...

Bishop Higgins-are you sure you still have a penis? Penis thefts are on the rise in the Congo, and I heard they would be hitting Utah next. Retuers even had an article about it.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSL2290323220080422?pageNumber=1&virtualBrandChannel=0

I am just saying, don't be so sure you still have a penis.

Anonymous said...

I'd rather baptize the hunchback, because if you baptize Captain Hook, he's going to reach up to plug his nose and run his nostril through with his hook. That would cause the font water to be contaminated with the blood and sins of this generation, and I'd have to bleach my clothes, and it would even go against the BYU rules against having piercings anywhere other than a single hole in each ear, for women only. So there.

Anonymous said...

Which Fortune 500 company would have only 375 employees? Franklin Covey, the very model of good management, had around 3,500 at its height and only made the Russell 2000 Small Cap Index.

I call shenanigans. 'Fess up, or I'll get my broom.

Anonymous said...

Eeewww. I just got a mental image of your penis.
Do I need to repent?
Janelle

Natalie "llama" Lofthouse said...

I think the reason the Hunchback is Catholic, is because it's impossible to baptize a hunchback by full imersion. That is probably also why there is no Hunchback ward.