Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Get to know your ward members

Dolly Frischknecht always loved her last name. That was because her mother used to tell her that is was Polish for "both regal and fragrant". Her mother was lying. It is, in fact, Polish, but the real meaning of the name is "I think I'm going to sneeze". It was years before Dolly learned the truth and when she did, became angry, then bitter, then angry, then sad, then giddy (that was only for a few minutes while she was riding a roller coaster at Lagoon) and then back to angry again. During this period of her life, she met the Mormon missionaries. They taught her about love and forgiveness and Dolly learned that when we are angry at others, the only one it hurts is ourselves. (Unless during the time we are angry, we sock the other person in the jaw).

Dolly has now been a member of the church for two years and is currently serving on the ward cafeteria planning committe.

I also want to point out that Dolly is nearly 7 feet tall. Freakish for a man, but even more so for a woman. Do not let that stop you from welcoming her in our ward. There is no place in our ward for looking at someone with a odd or strange trait that deep inside you are so glad you don't have, and treating them any differently because of it.

7 comments:

Brent Festige said...

I joined your church once but I didn't keep going cause they wouldn't pay for my rent and my truck payment. What a bunch of liars.

Bishop Higgins said...

Yes, it's fun to own a truck and to shirk responsibility. It's also fun to grow beards and smoke marijuana cigarettes. Doesn't make it right, though, does it Brother Festige. And I think that deep down, the real reason you are angry at the church is because none of the Bretheren are as woolly as you. And that causes you to feel as if you aren't welcome. I understand that. But what you need to understand is that asking someone to be responsible for making your truck payments would be like asking someone else to shave your back. And that just wouldn't be fair, now, would it. Come back to the fold. Shave first. Then come back to the fold. We've got a parking space for you and your truck right up front.

Lucy said...

It's three in the morning and I am awake because I was having the dream that wouldn't quit!! I don't know where or how I came across this blog, but you're a keeper. Especially when I can laugh at this hour of the day. :)

~*Holla at a PLAYA*~ said...

Bishop Higgins,

Have you been released? Are you on vacation? Did your computer hard drive explode? Did you get called as Stake President? Where are you? I'm trying to feast upon the word, but it's been a week!!!

...A worried ward member...

Abner Smoot said...

Bishop Higgins,

Why has your blog not been updated since Sept. 10? Do you not realize that your ward flock depend on this blog for their salvation? The sheep need a shephard. Do you not realize that the stake presidency is considering placing you on bishop probation? They will assign me as your bishop probation officer and it won't be pretty! There will be lots of time spent mowing old ladies lawns! In the name of the stake, consider yourself rebuked Bishop Higgins!

Bro. Abner Smoot
High Council

I'm Batman said...

That last name is so not Polish. I know, I was called on a mission there. Sounds like more people are lying to this poor sister besides her mother.

Brent Festige said...

All right...I'll give it one last try. For the second time. But only cause they put those new windows on all the doors...so now they can't accuse me of molesting the cub scouts.

Pee. S. My truck got repo'd. So much for your little "church welfare" program. What a joke.