Sunday, September 07, 2008

My conference talk

I won't be speaking in General Conference this year, but that hasn't stopped me from preparing a talk, just in case things change between now and October.

My talk is on the importance of husbands allowing their wives get as many pillows for the bed as they want. In my experience, there is a direct correlation between the happiness in marriage and the quantity of bed pillows therein. Some of the happiest couples I know have a bedroom that would be mistaken for a pillow museum or pillow show-room.

I'm not going to say how many pillows a couple should have. That is to be left up to the individual couple and can only be decided after much fasting and prayer. And don't let anyone tell you how many you should have. Except eight is a baseline. At least get eight. But then, after that, don't let anyone tell you how many more you should have.

The pillows don't all need to be full size. Some of them can be cute, small, decorative pillows. In fact, some of them will need to be if you're going to get 20 or 30 pillows on that bed. And I don't need to tell you this, but some of those little Chinese pillows are so adorable.

Should you go in debt to buy a bigger bed in order to accommodate the amount of pillows needed to secure a happy marriage? Quite simply, yes.

And that's what I'd talk about in conference.

6 comments:

~*Holla at a PLAYA*~ said...

Bishop,

What a wonderful talk. You've had a revelation!!! We're making decorative pillows at Super Saturday on the 27th!!! The church is TRUE!!!!....

Anonymous said...

Finally! A confrence talk that is both timely and relevant to what married couples are facing today. If I hear one more talk on tithing or porn I'm changing the channel to Joel Osteen.
Janelle

Frank Staheli said...

After all, that's what it says in Marvin J. Ashton's "One for the Money". Only go into debt for a home, a car, maybe for education, and definitely for bed pillows.

I think...

;-)

NoSurfGirl said...

Glad to see the church is maintaining its policy of staying out of the bedroom.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a rather sexist idea to me. If only "pillows" were the easy answer to all of the LDS marriages currently ending in divorce due to marrying too young, short courtships, too much debt, and other stressors. I hope that when you meet with such couples you have meatier advice than "pillows" to offer... Sadly, most conference talks this days are just that "light-weight."

Bishop Higgins said...

To anonymous,
You're so funny how you act like you are Bishop and that you have all the answers. That's really funny. I'll bet your kids think it's hilarious, too. Reminder: I'm the Bishop. Not you.