Sunday, July 15, 2007

Get to know your ward members

This week's profile is Sister Abigale Swenson.

Sister Swenson, a Utah native, grew up in Vinegar, Utah, a town that no longer exists. However, at one time, Vinegar Utah had as many as 2,000 residents, mostly sheep farmers. Sister Swenson learned the value of hard work as she was responsible for milking and feeding 50 head of cattle every day when she was only nine years old. She taught a local Indian boy how to speak English and he in turn taught her his language which he called "Cherekoi". It turned out to be simply "Pig Latin". That would be the last time she ever trusted a man.

As such, Sister Swenson never married but instead learned to trust animals and her own animal instincts. She decided to leave the church for several years when a previous bishop did not allow her cows to be baptized but eventually the Holy Spirit brought her back in to the fold.

Sister Swenson is currently the farm animal coordinator of our ward. At this point, we don't have any farm animals, but if we ever get some, Sister Swenson will coordinate them.


Anonymous said...


I just purchased a brand new golden calf. Do I need to contact Sister Swenson or will she contact me?

Also, my golden calf was a metaphor for my new boat. If I have to take Sister Swensen out to the lake and see her in a swimsuit suit in order for her to magnify her calling, I would rather sell it.

As always, your inspired counsel is welcome.

Brother Curtis Snow

Anonymous said...

WTF! You can't baptize cows?! Says who? Being a member of the FFA I find that personaly offensive. Some of the nicest people I know are members of the bovine community. This is just messed up. Next thing you know they will be telling members not to baptize their dogs anymore.