Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Relief Society Lesson Kits, only $1,300

Sister Guthrie has developed a new spiritual product that all the women teaching Relief Society will want to purchase. It is a relief society lesson kit for only $1,300 dollars complete with the following items.

  • 4 seasonal table clothes
  • One brass oil lamp
  • Large-print version of the poem "Footprints"
  • 10 cross-stitched quotes including one from America's favorite Jew, Zubin Mehta
  • Porcelain figure of a woman praying
  • Porcelain figure of a young boy with one arm, flying a kite
  • Porcelain figure of a woman with 8 kids, crying
  • Tabletop easel
  • Hilarious joke-picture of Dostoevsky getting baptized by David Rodeback
Buy this lesson kit now and feel an increase in the spirit today!

1 comment:

David Rodeback said...

Is the picture of the Dostoevsky baptism in the Neva River or the Volga? Because the one in the Volga River is a forgery. Just so you know, when Brother Fedya came up out of the icy water, back into the brisk February air, and eventually thawed out, he wrote (somewhat later) in his journal -- if you'll pardon my rough translation -- "I cannot recall my feelings upon coming up out of the water, or for several days thereafter." Let's do lunch, Bishop. I can tell you more unpublished Church history, and you can bring my first royalties check.