Saturday, July 07, 2007

Let Us All Contract Spiritual Warts: a clarification

I just got off the phone with brother Jepson who wanted me to let all of you know that he didn't mean to offend anyone in Sunday school last week.

As you may know, warts are common, and are caused by a viral infection, specifically by the human papillomavirus (HPV) and are contagious when in contact with the skin of another. What brother Jepson was trying to say when he suggested we should all contract spiritual warts, is that it should be common for us to have the holy spirit with us and that we should spread it to one another.

What he didn't mean to suggest is that we should spread it to one another through skin contact. And unlike what brother Alan Siepert, the ward liar has told everyone, Brother Jepson certainly did not intend for the spiritual warts to be of a sexual nature. But we all sin (although I don't sin nearly as much as I used to and not nearly as much as three of my sisters) and so if you have contracted spiritual warts of a sexual nature, I suggest you come talk to me and I can apply some spiritual Compound-W.


Anonymous said...

If you are reading this, please check out the podcasts.....very funny!

Ray Hugie said...

I'd like to hear more, its been awhile sense we've had any of the 'good news' from Brother Samuelson. I find his podcast very entertaining when I walk to 7-11 to get a slurpee, or take a bath because I don't drink slurpee's all that well (I end up wearing most of it down my front.) You should see the waterproof rig I made for my ipod. What you do is take a gallon of milk (drink or otherwise dispose) cut a slit wide enough for pushing your ipod through. Then you duct tape the slit. Wala! you have a waterproofed ipod system good for the bath or shower. Only problem is it is hard to hear what is playing (I find that holding the milk jug to my ear helps) and videos are all but impossible to see.

Please post more podcasts so I can put my portable playables in the porcelien tub with me.

Ray Hugie

Brother Burton said...

Dear Bishop,

I, for one, am very proud of my spiritual warts - so proud, in fact, that I'm trying to catch other types of warts that will make my life better, such as literary warts, travelling warts and sacrificing warts. But, as I told you on Sunday, I'm still bound and determined to get rid of this nasty case of genital warts before I travel with the young men to scout camp this summer.

God bless you, Bishop.

Brother Burton