Sunday, January 18, 2009

Update on our "Tithing Elite" program

It's been nearly a year since we instigated our "Tithing Elite" program and it's been a huge success. Go here and read the post to find out how it got started and what it's all about. You'll also want to read the comments people left when we first started "Tithing Elite" because some people just don't catch the vision.

But that's neither here nor there. The exciting thing is that we have added new benefits to the "Tithing Elite" program. Here are the new benefits for 2009

  • Shuttle service to and from church
  • Complimentary breath mints (can be shared with brother Omel Dellacourte)
  • Either "Sexual Innuendo on the Rise" T-shirt, or "I am way more humble than you" T-shirt. Your choice.
  • Special copy of the ward directory showing the ages of everyone in the ward. (Sister Pinnegar is my same age? She looks so old).
  • Thorough beard combing. (Only to members with a beard).
  • Heated seats in the winter and tiny individual fans in the summer.
  • Sinning "Free pass" given once a month to be used with the sin of your choice. (Sexual sins not included and can not be used with any murder-type sins. "Free sin pass" must be used in the month it is given. Only one sin per sin pass.)
We expect to add more benefits later in the year.

7 comments:

Likeursoperfect said...

Bishop!

The benefits for 2009 look fantastic! I now wish I was a man, and didn't go to BYU, so that I could have a beard combing.

Also - thanks for joining my group for my wedding on Facebook! Tyler and I are very excited!

mineminemine said...

this is so much an inspired program and I am wondering if you could get inspired some more and have a "Attendance Elite" program for the young adults who seems to have trouble getting any place on Sundays.

Nicea said...

Finally, an elite program we can count on! My frequent flyer benefits have been negatively impacted by the current economy despite promises made when I signed up.

But, I just KNOW that your inspired Tithing Elite program is a true and everlasing promise.

Natasha said...

Monthly free sin? I'm so on that. Bring on the coffee and wine, since sex is off the table.

This was very funny. Maybe if we had a shuttle service we'd be more on time.

P.S. I don't believe that you are a bishop.

Anonymous said...

If you make it on the shuttle.. you'd be a shoe-in for that Attendance Elite thing. It would be like double coupon day.

Anonymous said...

Oh this is soooooo stinkin' funny!!! I love it! =)


The people that don't 'get it' make it even more fun!

JustMe said...

So many sins - if we double our tithing - can we get 2 passes a month?